Test: Are you able to say no?

1. Do you fear criticism and personal conflicts at some point and want to avoid it at all costs?

Yes / No.

2 Do you feel guilty for no reason?

Yes / No.

3. Are you afraid that others do not appreciate you or lose interest in you?

Yes / No.

4. Do you find your interpersonal dimension the most important of your life, till the point you forget?

Yes / No.

5. Do you always succeed perfectly on everything that you undertake?

Yes / No.

If you answered Yes to one or more of these questions, it is likely that the possibility of saying No to someone is a horrible nightmare for you.

Say NO in 7 different contexts

1. I cannot now, but may be later.

You can really want to say yes but do not have the free time. In this case, you can offer your help when you have more availability. And if others cannot wait for you, they’ll find someone else!

Benefit: This will prevent you from feeling guilty for saying no.

Disadvantage: Do not forget that you made yourself available. If you say you later and you fail, you will eventually believe you did not say…

2 I do not do that sort of thing (work, etc.).

Life is not woven with pain, damn it! If you do not really do a job or activity, why would you do? There is no use of being afraid to show others that you dislike certain things, you have every right to do so.

3. I feel uncomfortable.

It may also make you feel uncomfortable. This may be an activity that involves some people or that raises a moral issue. You will respect you more if you avoid this kind of situation.

4. I have other commitments.

Unless you have the gift of ubiquity, which can be in two places at once, you cannot say yes to everyone. Regardless of the commitment you’ve made, whether or not it is important, you have the right to say no without having to justify yourself.

5. I say so to myself!

Everyone needs to take time for themself. By dint of forgetting, one ends up being no longer in existence. You are entitled to be a little selfish. You can even book a special time in your calendar.

6. I do not know about it.

The people around you can you ask for a variety of activities. While it is useful to engage and learn new things, you do not have to exceed your skill level. They can find another person who has the skills or experience necessary for that activity.

7. Just say no.

Sometimes it is quite correct to just say no. But in that case, remember to say it with courtesy.

We often find it difficult to say no because we are afraid of being rejected. Saying no helps you concentrate enough on what you have to do to get things done, instead of constantly changing directions according to the requests of others. If you adopt the attitude of the person who wants to “save the others”, will happen shortly that they will see you first and will ignore other ways to solve their problems.