Do we always respect ourselves like we should? Probably not. Could it be that the respect we have for ourselves influences the respect that we claim from others? Certainly! Here’s why you will enjoy the respect that comes from within yourself.
Of self-esteem and self-respect
Respect is a sentiment for oneself or for someone else who is manifested by an attitude of full consideration. And to respect ourselves, we must consider ourselves adequately. Several psychology researchers have also suggested that self-esteem moderated anxiety and was even a witness to our personal autonomy.
A psychologist says, “In therapy, I always try to allow each individual to develop an intimate space and determine a new consciousness that is healthy and acceptable to disclose and not to reveal oneself. He speaks of a secret garden, a privileged space in which ideas and experience that we consciously decided not to share are kept safe.”
People mobilize a vast mental energy to lie, to use time and energy to turn a blind eye, and to show others a cleverly worked portrait of self. Avoid at all costs not to do so, for this will prevent you from getting in touch with your inner suffering.
Respect starts with ourselves. And respect can subsequently open the door to dialogue, forgiveness and play an important role in improving our daily lives. Examples that lead esteem and self-respect.
The ability to know ourselves. This involves giving sufficient attention to ourselves and knowing who we are through our values, our ways of responding, our interests, etc. To feel good about what we really are will avoid confusion.
The ability to accept ourselves through our strengths and weaknesses. This attitude makes us recognize and appreciate what we are, our values and allows us to give less importance to what may be missed, just because we capitalize on what we have.
The ability to compare ourselves to others constructively and not in a derogatory way. We cannot ignore others in our lives. But any comparison must respect who we are despite the qualities that we may not have. This perspective removes unpleasant states such as envy, dissatisfaction and self-deprecation. Moreover, the fact that we compare ourselves to others in a constructive way helps us to maintain relationships free of conflict.
Assertiveness is the ability and desire to affirm who we are and what we believe. It means to say what is important for us without being afraid of being dismissed. This requires the ability to assert and believe that we have a real value and the certainty of being independent, free, able to choose and get what we want.
To assert ourselves, we sometimes have to do what we fear. For example, even if you’re afraid to tell others what you think, you can still express your opinion with tact and respect. If you are afraid that people will reject interesting ideas, you can start by expressing them without imagining yourself being made fun of.
When we respect our self, we express to others the subtle appreciation we have for ourselves. Without doing so, it is difficult to assert ourselves as we do not feel worthy of interest. Because respect for ourselves inspires respect for others. If we neglect, if we let others decide for us, if we do not our desire to serve our identity, it is likely that our freedom of action and diminish our self-esteem.
Finally, Mike Martin, author and professor at Chapman University (California), describes particularly well the match between the values that direct our lives, self-esteem and the ability to assert ourselves: “Living is equivalent to act; act is to act for certain reasons; see that our actions are based on good reasons is to give them some value, and identifying oneself to such acts is to tacitly assume the value.”*
Signs of self-respect that promote respect for others
- To express your needs, your desires, and your dreams.
- To express your emotions, your states, your mood.
- To express your ideas, tastes, everything that defines you and proves that you are proud of yourselves and that you are not afraid of being judged by others.
- Accept your body and treat it well (dress well, for example).
- Be happy with what you do.
- Take up your deal with others without being aggressive or disrespectful.
- Getting to make choices and take them on.
- Do not unnecessarily blame yourself or be judged too harshly.
- Accept the accolades from others.
- Expect to be respected, that is to say that others will recognize your right to be who you are.
* Mike Martin (1985), Self-deception and self-understanding: New essays in philosophy and psychology, Lawrence, University Press of Kansas, 316 pages.