Take a few moments to reflect on the situations where you feel most motivated. What are the basic reasons that mobilize you do something? The deep meaning that you attach to your actions has much to do with this factor. Thus, in everything you undertake, make sure that what you do is the vision of what you have given yourself in your life, that is, the horizon of a general sense that motivates you, the main objectives you want to reach.
It is when the meaning is too small that you have the trouble of letting go. We define failure as the setbacks experienced by someone who sees his hopes as unfulfilled. To find out whether we have failed or not, we must consult our expectations. Imagine an artist who is dissatisfied with his work. He sees it as a failure if his expectations and not in the work itself. He will sees his work as a success if he focuses more on learning than on the work which he has achieved. Which of these situations is easier to accept?
Plus, when our expectations are wider, we enrich our vision and we run a lesser risk of “failure”. But, it is also necessary that this vision corresponds to what we really are! In other words, we must define our goals from what is important to us, not to please others or to reassure our insecurities. With this perspective, you will find that your goals and your actions are a part of many bigger goals, such as improving your life. Thus, accepting that things do not go always as you expect you will in due course of time get you better and bigger results.
Other Ways to Let Go
To cultivate balance, we must set our goals and accept the true consequences of our decisions. Several paths can lead to a goal. So, when things break down, we must also know the correct way of accepting the situation.
Be Your Own Light
In one of his last books, Guy Finley, the specialist of letting go, explained that we can build our lives on a sounder footing. He said a major reason why we have difficulty with certain aspects of our lives stems from imaginary needs we cannot fill. It is because we are sometimes very quick to decide that we want to build castles in Spain. We need to impress others, get results easily. To free ourselves from these chimeras, Finley asks to let go. To overcome the limitations of our illusions, we must stop blaming others and events, and opt for a more realistic horizon.
This theme echoes the research in positive psychology by Dr. Martin Seligman. Instead of pursuing an endless search for beauty, success and wealth, which are values typical to American or Western culture, we can build our lives from the virtues that have survived for centuries and cultures: love, temperance, wisdom and knowledge, courage and transcendence.
The characteristic of these virtues is to make us feel a great joy every time we make them ours. For example, when you help a mother who is carrying her child, to ascend the stairs of the bus with, you demonstrate altruism (love and empathy), what makes you happy. You’ve made a small effort but that effort has been a source of great gratification.
Experience More Slowly
Did you know that you can go faster if you slow down? To advance despite difficulties, is it sometimes not better to diminish the pace? Every human has a right to a life that is pleasant and full, but most humans are unwilling to spend time with their own company. In short, when “easy on” the human being finds himself with the ability to his to work, but also is not bothered by failures. To accept their strengths and weaknesses and to include it in their results is in the spirit of a more balanced life.
Finding the Balance between Self-Realization and Letting Go
- Widen the horizon of your expectations and your vision.
- Make sure you can change according to different situations before you fight.
- Focus on what constructive things each situation brings to you.
- Expand your search for the great virtues and rewards for small efforts.
- Determine your goals from a real knowledge of yourself.
- Free yourself of your illusions and pursue realistic goals.
- Slow down the pace and enjoy every moment of what you bring.