This thing generally occurs during an evening when you do not want to go or after agreeing to perform an additional task and you are having trouble in doing so. The ability to say NO or to divest itself of a situation is very important for those who want to survive the hectic life today without suffering of at least one burn-out.
Ideally, we welcome demands from others because we really want to. But is this still the matter? Too often, we say yes to avoid offending others, not to displease them, to please them … But when we’re sick, we are at wit’s end, we sometimes march our commitments and do feel guilty about it.
Say no, a real torture?
How is that poor little two letter word nourish the conviction that we are hateful? Is your unfailing availability makes you procrastinating, makes you feel like a martyr? Accepting demands constantly may inundate us with other responsibilities that we could do without.
Daring to say no is to affirm its existence and expose the true desires. For some, it is also the risk of not being loved. But on the contrary, this is clearly stating that they are most likely to be loved.
The belief that you lose your worth when you say no is a symptom of the desire to please others at all cost. This is because that we tend to set the bar too high and want everything to be perfect. It is not yet collapsing with the fatigue that we really make services to others.
Learn to say no
Saying no is not in itself a very difficult task. It relates everything that is in our minds with this little word, which makes it so difficult to pronounce. Before you learn to say no, you must first identify the nature of the thoughts that accompany the word. You say yourself “If I say no, others will discredit me and not call me anymore” or “I always say yes so that others will like me?” If this is the case, it is likely that these thoughts are false and you make absolute die hard. To rectify this, a strategy is to ask yourself if your conclusions are realistic and that will make you to really use it. The mere awareness of your thoughts will excessively help you to be free.
To help, you can also focus more on what you have already begun to do. This will give you another reason not to deviate from your plans and avoid getting lost and tired.
Moreover, when someone asks you something, make sure that you have understood the request before responding. If you say yes to a request for more demanding than expected, you will haunt yourself… And you can also wait a bit before acquiescing. If you are doubtful about if you can say yes for now, it will always be time to invest later.
In total, dare to say no, it is learned. It is always possible to break the vicious circle of fear and guilt. Because it seems that it is not always hard to say it first.