Month: December 2010

Guilt, a personal growth brake

Like a cancer of the mind, guilt can invade the existence of some individual and undermine their well-being. However, this morbid guilt is not inevitable and it is possible to free ourselves by a salutary letting go attitude. The guilt that occurs when we cause harm to others is really healthy. It is desirable that one who steals or damages the property of others should feel guilty. This painful feeling will be encouraged to make amendments, or at least apologize. But some people feel guilty when no misconduct is alleged against them. Thus there are individuals who blame themselves for being born and having been a burden to their parents, have an interesting job, to do better than their brothers and sisters, to put their children in a day care so that they can join a job, not to be perfect or just have fun. This guilt-there attitude is a kind of first gangrenous outgrowth. As for cancer, degeneration of a sound mechanism is the base and eventually undermines the well-being of those who are affected. We are responsible for our actions but not others’ reactions to them Here’s an example: a woman meets a colleague who invited her for a drink after work. She accepted the proposal while taking care to inform her husband over telephone that she will come a little later than expected. On her return,...

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Guilt in relationships

This is possible that morbidly guilt is our propensity to feel guilty, this is to say that make us responsible for the others’ misfortunes. To illustrate that, let’s consider the example of a woman who realizes she is no longer able to adequately care for her elderly mother. She decides to place her in an institution for the elderly people, but she blames the drop. We note that the mother can reinforce this guilt: “You cannot do this to me after everything I’ve done for you!” Yet, this woman cannot be held responsible for the misfortunes of her mother. She is certainly responsible for the decision taken to enroll in an institution, but the emotional reaction of the mother is not within its purview. One might imagine that the latter may rejoice in this new environment, where she will be treated and will meet new people who may become friends. How the mother reacts to her daughter’s decision is entirely her choice, which therefore must assume the full responsibility. “You’re pissing me off” It is because we are assuming responsibilities that are not ours, we are feeling guilty. But why do we fall into this trap? Education certainly means a lot: parents often blame their children to the tune of clumsy words, “Stop, you get me crazy,” “I’m exhausted because of you” or more commonly “You’re pissing me off.”...

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The Enneagram: Type 3. The Motivator

Very young, to be loved, the future personality of the Motivator revolves around the values of parents: Help us, honor by excelling in all. An invitation has focused its internal logic and vision of the world now, he will invest his relational world not only to meet the needs of others, such as type two, but also to convince and motivate them to work. His specific talent Type three has the instinct to succeed. Very dynamic, the Motivator has a gift to inspire enthusiasm. It moves around him a lot. Strategically, he intuitively knows what to say and how to convince and keep focused on goals. This is not a quitter! Tenacious, the Motivator knows the challenges with flying colors. He does not waste time with pitfalls and devotes all his energy to perform up and away. It is often said of him that everything he touches turns into success. Usually, gifted in many areas it knows how to maintain an aura of prosperity around him. His pitfalls Unfortunately, his constant need to succeed (to meet parental expectations) leads to a terrible misunderstanding. He confuses what he is and what he does. As the fear of failure that lives permanently, it’s hard to rest. He is treating it as a product to promote. A tactic that gives rise to a feeling of secret dissatisfaction: even higher and further. Despite...

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The Enneagram: Type 2. The Helper

From the early childhood, The Helper personality of the future revolved around a parental message: Be helpful to others. This value has conditioned his internal logic and behavior. Therefore, the Helper will invest its energy emotional in the universe, willingly put themselves in service to others. His specific talent. Type Two is not the only generous way, of course. We are all altruistic about our schedule. What distinguishes him is his strong desire to alleviate human suffering and giving it the necessary importance. He feels responsible for your well-being and surrounds you with pampering and advice. He is warm, inviting and simple. He listens to you without judging you and knows how to create an atmosphere conducive to confidences. He believes that sharing the pain make it half. His pitfalls. It is the service of good works and to listen. He always has a word of encouragement, a solution for problem and a support to offer. Fearful of being secretly abandoned if it is useless, he ran to save the situation, pick up the “mess” even before we may need help. Despite his obvious good will, this is a trap. It occurs even when there is a lack of time or does not have the necessary expertise, thus exposing themselves to exhaustion. Furthermore, inducing subtle that you cannot manage without him undermines the confidence of his protégés and deprives...

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The Enneagram: Type 1. The Reformer

Do you know the Enneagram? Do you know that this knowledge is one of the millennium’s most powerful tools to discover who you really are? How to know your type? As long as you’re interested, the analysis grid will reveal your talent and your specific pitfalls, and guide your choice while respecting your life’s mission. From early childhood, the personality of the future reformer revolved around a parental message: be responsible. This is just an example. Therefore, the desire to do better made him to improve his world and this became his dominant trait. His specific talent. Great idealist, the reformer is inhabited by a thirst for truth and justice. He is honest, loyal and wants to participate in the betterment of the mankind and ensures that everyone is treated fairly. As a defender of moral values, he likes to lead by example and encourages us to invest effort to improve ourselves and become a better human being. He is well organized and always has a current project and its attendance is legendary. It is a conscientious type, which has the tenacity and self-discipline that are necessary to achieve its objectives. His pitfalls. It is the quality department at work. Nothing is left to a chance. It requires everything to be perfect and is often called the perfectionist, which of course is no easy task on the planet Earth....

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